In honor of Matt’s birthday week, Casey and I thought it would only be fitting to allow our two favorite boys, and future grooms, to take over the blog. For your reading enjoyment, we introduce you to the man’s perspective around here a.k.a the other half of the Rookie Squad. So with no further ado, Matt and Finn, the blog is all yours. All we ask is that you both behave yourselves, our moms are reading…
Our Husbands’ Opinions on All Things DIY
It’s intriguing. It’s immaculate. It’s perfect.
It’s going up in the house… no matter what Bridget says!
Today is a very special day. No, not because it is the first of April. Today just seems….different. The air is a little crisper, the sun is shining a bit brighter, and the birds seem to be chirping in perfect harmony. The reason being you ask? Well, I, the fiance of a DIY Playbook executive, have made an executive decorating decision myself. A portrait of Cosmo Kramer (comedic element of NBC’s longtime hit sitcom, Seinfeld) will be added to the guest room decor.
Some guys may think it is easy living with a DIY executive. “Oh, Matt, it must be awesome. You don’t have to decorate a thing. She will do it all for you!” This is true. However, a man can only swallow so much of his pride. There have been many-a-days offering decorative ideas to Bridget. However, all of my creative bubbles were popped… and popped quickly. I began to notice a “Rolodex” of polite shut-downs. “Yeah that’s a good idea Matt, maybe we can look into that later.” And then my personal favorite, a smile, a shake of the head and a hug, basically saying “Good effort, but you have no idea what you are doing.”
I may not be the “King of Color Schemes.” I am definitely not the “God of Gallery Walls.” And it’s safe to say I am not the “Ambassador of Arts & Crafts.” But what I am is a homeowner, and someone who should have a say into how his house is decorated.
Today is a new day. I am leading the charge to defeat DIY “executive decisions” against my decorating ideas! I can picture it now. Cosmo Kramer in the guest room, a black and white Bruce Springsteen poster in the office, and last but not least, a velvet portrait of a Basset Hound playing cards above the couch in the living room. My house would be officially complete.
This is not going to be an easy task. Similar to General Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn, my odds are slim of pulling this off. However, I won’t go down without a fight!
Gentlemen, we have ALL made sacrifices. Our Friday nights have gone from “drinks with the boys” to parading around Goodwill stores looking for ceramic animals because it would be a “cute centerpiece”. Decisions of ordering wings or pizza have turned into picking between IKEA or TJ Maxx for a shopping excursion. My Saturdays used to consist of walking aimlessly around Best Buy, salivating over what DVD box set I was going to buy. Now my Saturdays make up of walking around Estate Sales helping Bridget decide what broken down old chair could be “made over” for the blog.
It is time we take a stand gentlemen. Put down that glue gun and pick up an XBOX Controller. Throw away that glitter and dust off your old Whiffle Ball Set. Hide those scissors and yarn and pop in an old Hulk Hogan wrestling DVD. We must stand firm and stand tall.
If not us, then who?
If not now, then when?
You know what Matt…I have to agree. Once I saw that distinguished piece of art (Cosmo adds character, by the way) I realized that it too is my time to stand firm and rebel. It’s time we stand up to these so-called “rookies” and show them who’s king!
It’s time to get the team back together!
In this box, are great men that support our cause. Champions who nod vigorously in agreement when I give them the slightest fist or chest bump. These players epitomize excellence and should be WELCOME in my home and not shunned to a closet after all they have done for me!
As you’ve seen on the ol’ blog before, my sports paraphernalia is limited to what matches the color scheme and can be hidden amongst the bookshelves.
That plan is out. I want them to be front and center…the focal point of our home. So things are changing around here. We’re going back to our winning ways!
In the morning, I want to piss excellence and stare at my past fantasy championships, recalling the exploits of my teams. When a championship is won in my household a bobblehead is purchased in the likeness of my team’s MVP.
They may not have known who or what they were playing for at the time, or even cared if they did, but these men led the charge and deserve their enshrinement in my imaginary HOF.
Justin represents the first of a back-to-back Fantasy MLB Championship (looking for a three-peat fellas and some more championship burgers). While Sir Thomas represents my 2009 fantasy football season. Brady’s warrior effort deserves recognition, and he kills it with the ladies so he is always welcome. Casey still finds his bobblehead to be a 10…and he’s only 8 inches tall. How does he do it?
These bobble heads could really make each day a little brighter! If I want to start the day right, I should do so with sky-high confidence remembering the glory of my Fantasy championship seasons as they are often few and far between.
My sports stuff isn’t just for me though. Sure, Gus here reminds me of our WSAW News Channel 7 2011 basketball championship in Wisconsin and the great times I had with those guys. But, he could be the perfect welcome sign for anyone that enters our home. Gus is the quintessential doorman. He could greet our guests with his little top hat and glove, deny unwelcome intruders, and even give some love with a solid fist bump.
Who wouldn’t want to see this adorable round mound of rebound when they enter our home?
Plus, my morning fist pump to Gus would only set me up for success throughout my entire day at work.
This final athlete would really round out the decor around here. Those of you who know me, understand my obsession with the gentlemen below (in a purely athletic manner, mind you). He was a gift to my team last year and saved the season, and we have him back for 2013! Mike Trout deserves the most prominent of spots in our home.
I would like to share a drink with him before bed, recalling his amazing 2012 rookie campaign (how he wasn’t MVP I will never know….) and his bright future. I’d give him a little cheers with my Babe Ruth baseball stein (Sultan of Swat loves the kid), and say good night. As I mentioned before he would simply nod in agreement for a few moments…before falling back to rest.
As men, we appreciate the things our women do to make our homes cozy, complete, and frankly amazing. At the same time if we aren’t here to mess it up and give them challenges where is the fun in that? So we challenge you dedicated DIY’ers to find places for these things in our homes and make it work. You want to stop being a rookie and join the Majors? Make our tacky, inconsistent, passionate items work!
Good luck, gentlemen.